


Just this Moment by babs

by babs



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-17
Updated: 2011-04-17
Packaged: 2017-10-18 06:27:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/185978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babs/pseuds/babs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes it takes a close call to remind us of what matters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just this Moment by babs

Jack used his fork to catch the last errant crumbs of apple pie on his dessert plate and looked at Daniel's nearly whole piece. He snuck out his fork, ready to take a bite... just one bite, Daniel being distracted by the dessert menu. Jack swore the next time he and Daniel went out for dinner, he was going to put any potential reading material on another table.

"Don't even think about it, Jack," Daniel said without looking up from the menu. "Order another piece if you want one."

"We got the last two slices, remember?" Jack sighed. A big sigh that was wasted on one oblivious archeologist. Daniel lowered the menu and cut a piece of pie off with the edge of his fork, bringing it to his mouth slowly while staring at Jack over the top of his glasses.

"You've got a nasty streak in you, Daniel, you know that? Everyone thinks you're this innocent and thoroughly nice guy through and through. Ha!"

"You're still not getting any, Jack," Daniel said after swallowing.

"Any?" Jack asked. He bumped his knee against Daniel's underneath the diner table.

"Any *pie*," Daniel clarified. Jack looked around for their waitress and signaled for the check. Daniel smiled at him as he took his last bite of pie and held up the coffee carafe, raising his eyebrows in question. Jack pushed the mug towards Daniel, figuring he could drink a half cup before they left.

Sighing as he took a sip of the warm brew, Jack nodded as the waitress dropped off their check. He grabbed it before Daniel could, and held it out of reach. "My treat."

Daniel shrugged. "I'll get it next time."

Jack nodded. He shifted on the seat to pull his wallet out of his back pocket. Daniel smiled at him over his coffee cup. Jack scanned the bill, checking for the total to figure out the tip. Calculating the cost of the meals, drinks and desserts in his head made him realize there was an error. He went down the list once more and found it.

"Jack? Something wrong?"

"I don't believe this. She gave me the senior citizen discount! You know, ten percent off all of my stuff!" Jack spluttered and pushed the bill in Daniel's direction. Daniel didn't seem to find it as much of an affront as Jack did, though. In fact, he was hiding his mouth behind his napkin.

"Don't laugh. Daniel, this is me we're talking about. Do I look like a senior citizen to you?" At the snicker he heard, he amended, "And no smart alecky remarks."

"I didn't say anything." Daniel's voice was muffled and he smothered a small cough into his fist.

"She could have asked, Daniel. Asked me how old I am," Jack huffed.

"Jack, the waitress was what? Twenty? To her, *I* probably look like a senior citizen." Daniel was sounding reasonable. Jack hated that. He hated that tone when he was just getting to the point of outrage. "If you'd use the Grecian Formula you have hidden in the bathroom, then they probably wouldn't think you were."

The devilment in Daniel's eyes at the comment took away any semblance of sympathy for Jack's plight.

A sudden urge to get back at Daniel struck Jack. "She was eyeing your ass, you know? When you went to the bathroom." Ha, Jack sat back finding his own pleasure in seeing the flush of red creeping up Daniel's neck. It was a low blow, Jack knew. Daniel hated the thought that people actually looked at him.

"I'm old enough to be her dad," Daniel whispered, leaning forward.

"Can't picture you being a dad at eighteen, Daniel." Jack checked his wallet, pulling out a twenty and a ten, holding it out for Daniel to take.

"I didn't say she was my daughter, Jack. I was only suggesting a possibility." Daniel took the money and the bill. "Of course, you realize you are old enough to be her grandpa."

Jack touched the tip of his finger to his tongue and drew an imaginary line in the air. "Jackson 1, O'Neill 0? You realize this means war, Dannyboy."

"Yeah, I'm so scared. At your age, I can probably outrun you by a couple of miles. And by the way, did you send in your AARP dues?" Daniel laughed as he stepped away towards the cash register in the front of the diner.

"Ha ha," Jack answered, heading the opposite direction to the bathroom. Jack rubbed at his chest as he walked away. The twinge of pain that he'd felt a few times while they'd been eating hit again. That would be all he needed. Knowing the wicked sense of humor Daniel could exhibit, his partner would probably start teasing him about heart attacks.

Washing his hands a few minutes later, Jack gripped the porcelain wash basin as pain lanced through him once more. He looked up, catching sight of his pale features in the mirror. Heat flooded through him and then left him sweating and shivering. He took a few deep breaths, wincing as the pain worsened. It's nothing, he told himself, pushing himself away on shaky legs. Jack left the bathroom, concentrating only on getting to the Avalanche parked on the diner's lot. He could see Daniel waiting for him outside the diner's doors, enjoying the spring sunshine, head tilted back to the warmth.

"Jack? Maybe we could catch a movie, you know, you get in for a dis..." Jack saw the teasing look change to concern and fear. "Jack, what's wrong?" Strong arms, Daniel's arms, wrapped around him, guiding him gently to the ground when Jack's legs wouldn't obey him anymore. "Jack? Can you hear me?"

He thought he nodded. The pain ripped through his chest again and he brought up his hand to rub it away. "Heart, chest."

"Oh God," he heard Daniel say in what he thought was panic, and he heard someone yelling to call 911, but then Daniel was in front of him, his voice calm and even.

"Jack, an ambulance is on its way. Just keep breathing, you hear? You're going to be fine." Jack could hear a siren in the distance, but instead of it getting closer like it should, the sound was fading, fading until he couldn't hear anything except the roar of his own blood and fear.

* * *

"Sir, I'm sorry, but you can't go with the Colonel." A large male nurse blocked Daniel's passage through the swinging doors.

He caught a glimpse of Jack, lying pale and limp on the gurney, while a swarm of medical personnel surrounded him, blocking him from view.

"Yeah, um... yeah." Daniel backed away, knowing there was no way he could win the argument. Besides, it wasn't as if he could do anything. He was as helpless as he'd been outside the diner. He looked up and saw the doors closed, the nurse gone. The air conditioning felt way too cool, and Daniel shivered as he stood alone in the hall. He'd told them to bring Jack to the Academy Hospital. What if coming here had cost Jack precious minutes. Daniel only knew about heart attacks from what he'd seen on public service announcements on TV and those stupid medical shows Jack sometimes liked to watch. But he knew time was of the essence. Time. Daniel glanced at his watch, wondering how less than a half hour had passed since they'd gotten up from their table at the diner.

He looked down the corridor, feeling lost. Daniel pulled his arms tighter around his body and began walking towards what looked like a nurses' desk. There was a little alcove to one side with a few chairs, a table with magazines and a love seat. He went to the desk, giving them his name. The nurse on duty nodded and directed him back to the alcove where he sat, his mind gone numb for the moment.

The sight of the male nurse who'd blocked his way earlier walking past had Daniel up on his feet and following.

"Excuse me," Daniel called. The nurse turned and Daniel read the name tag. Captain R. Tyler. "Captain Tyler?"

"Yes. Oh, you were with Colonel O'Neill." The captain smiled.

Nodding, Daniel pointed to his watch. "It's been over an hour, and no one's told me what's going on."

"Are you a relative?" Captain Tyler asked.

"No, I'm his... No," he continued. "Just a friend."

"I'm sorry, then, sir. I can't give you any information on the Colonel's condition."

"Is he being admitted? In Cardiac Care?" Daniel pushed for information.

"Sir, I'm sorry. But I can't share any information with you." The captain gave an apologetic smile and continued on his way down the hall.

At the SGC, he'd know what was going on with Jack. Of course, the problems they brought back with them through the gate usually involved some sort of alien disease that required everyone to be part of finding the solution. Daniel strode to the nurses' station.

"I'm Doctor Daniel Jackson. I came in with Colonel O'Neill over an hour ago and I'd like to know his condition."

"We don't have any information available at this time, Doctor Jackson," one of the nurses said. "You can continue to wait in the waiting room."

Clenching his fist inside his pocket, Daniel forced a smile to his face and nodded. "I understand." He walked back to the small waiting room, knowing he'd find no peace there. There wasn't even enough room to pace comfortably. He'd never understand how Jack could sit in the infirmary for hours being quiet when one of SG1 was injured. Granted, Jack usually found something to play with, but Jack was generally quiet and patient, just waiting for someone to wake up. Daniel, on the other hand, needed to move, especially when things came to a crisis. He hated feeling this helpless. Voices from the down the hall brought Daniel to the doorway. He recognized one of the doctors he'd seen running by Jack's gurney when they'd first arrived. The man was giving a low stream of orders as they pushed Jack's bed down the hall.

"Doctor?" Daniel stepped further into the hallway. "What's going on?" But no one seemed to hear him, the medical team continuing on their way, the one brief glimpse of Jack lying pale and motionless, his chest bare and his mouth and nose covered with an oxygen mask. They disappeared down another corridor; Daniel unwilling to follow them despite his desperate need for information, not wanting to distract them from the business of helping Jack. But anger propelled him back to the nurses' station.

"Look, I'm Doctor Daniel Jackson. You can check my clearances on your computer. I'm sure I'm in there. I'm listed as Colonel O'Neill's next of kin and have his medical POA. But I want to know what's going on with my friend."

"Yes sir," the young nurse said in a placating tone. "But I have no information available on the Colonel's condition. I'm sure that a doctor will be with you as soon as he or she is able."

Daniel turned away, letting out an explosive sigh. He patted his pocket, feeling his cell phone. Walking to the closest exit, Daniel went into the cool Colorado evening, pressing numbers without even looking. He stood staring up at the sky, at the rose and gold heralding the sunset.

"Hello, Janet? I'm at the Academy Hospital. Jack..." He stopped, pinching the bridge of his nose before finding the words to continue, "I think Jack may have had a heart attack and I can't find out what's going on." His breath came in a rough rhythm long after Janet had informed him she was on her way. God, they'd been joking about it. He'd been teasing Jack about growing old. Damn it, he wasn't ready for Jack to be taken from him. He tried telling himself Jack was still alive; they wouldn't have been wheeling a dead man down the hall at a brisk clip. If Jack... no, Daniel wasn't going to think that way. Jack would be fine. Jack would recover.

He took a rough deep breath and went back into the hospital. Patience carried Daniel through much of his work, surely he could manage to be patient until Janet got there and found out what was going on. Sitting lasted less than five minutes and soon Daniel was up and pacing in the small waiting room. He could feel his own pulse in his ears; his heartbeat picking up as he saw Janet coming down the hall. He didn't follow her as she passed him and went right to the nurses' station. Maybe he was better off not knowing what was going on.

Janet was walking back towards him with another doctor by her side. Time must have passed, but Daniel wasn't conscious of it. The smell of antiseptic seemed stronger, even though he knew it had been there all along. But he remembered. A memory of sitting in a waiting room in a large hospital in New York with one of the curators of the museum became vivid--a memory forgotten for years. Even though he'd caught a brief glimpse of two covered gurneys being taken from the museum, there was a part of his eight year old self that had wanted to believe that his mom and dad were okay, that somehow they'd survived. Parents weren't supposed to die and leave their little boys behind, after all. But there was a doctor there dressed in a white coat with a green bow tie shaking his head and saying how sorry he was. Daniel remembered being scared and then telling the curator he'd be okay, that the man could take him back to the hotel, and Daniel would be okay. The older Daniel shook his head at the memory. He hadn't understood, not really, not understood at the moment that death meant there would be no more kisses from his mom at bedtime, no more being swung in a huge arcing circle by his dad when they went to the park, no more kneeling beside his mom and dad in the desert and using his own tools to help them brush away the sand of centuries.

"...niel?" Janet's voice finally filtered into his thoughts and he looked at her. She frowned at him and pointed to one of the fake leather chairs. He knew better to argue with her. Janet was wearing her no nonsense face and the doctor beside her looked just as stern. Daniel sat, resting his hands on his knees, and waited. The doctor sat down on the love seat across from him along with Janet. Daniel opened his mouth to say something, anything in the heavy silence, and realized he had no breath to speak.

"Colonel O'Neill has pneumonia." The doctor, Doctor Wesley, Daniel finally focused on the man's name tag, announced.

"Pneumonia?" Daniel heard his voice crack as if he was reliving puberty. "But he didn't say anything. He wasn't sick. I mean, he coughed a few times but that was it. He had a cold last week but it went away."

"Evidently not," Doctor Wesley said with a smile that only a doctor could give.

"Daniel, Colonel O... Jack had spasms in his chest muscles. Very severe muscle spasms. Probably caused by the coughing," Janet explained.

"So his heart?"

"His heart is fine. He's sick, to be sure, but I have no reason to believe he won't make a full recovery from the pneumonia." Doctor Wesley leaned forward. "We have him on medication for that and for the muscle spasms."

Daniel didn't seem to be able to wrap his mind around the concept. "So you're saying he didn't have a heart attack?"

"That's exactly what Doctor Wesley is saying," Janet repeated.

"The Colonel is resting comfortably. He'll be able to go home once the IV is done if someone is able to be with him for the next twenty four hours." Doctor Wesley stood, sticking out his hand to shake Daniel's. "Do you have any questions, Doctor Jackson?"

Daniel shook his head, feeling numb while a thousand thoughts seemed to whirl in his brain.

"Well then," the doctor patted his shoulder, "I'll be off to see some of my other patients."

"Daniel?" Janet touched his arm and he looked up from the floor to see her standing in front of him.

"But this isn't ordinary pneumonia, is it?" Daniel was trying hard to believe the story he'd just been told, but he'd *seen* Jack struggling for breath, watched as medical equipment was brought out from the ambulance and Jack was hooked up to machines, followed in Jack's truck, all the time thinking that he was going to get to the hospital too late and he wouldn't be able to say goodbye.

Shaking her head, Janet smiled, "Yes, Daniel, it is. The kind where he's going to be released in a few hours, sent home, be cranky and go back through the gate in four weeks or so." She glanced at him as he stood. "You haven't been coughing, have you?"

"No, Janet." He stepped out of the waiting area and watched as two nurses passed them before bending down to speak to Janet once again. "Are you sure Jack doesn't need to go to the mountain? Maybe he should be checked out there. You know, just in case it's some sort of alien infection."

Janet sighed. "It's not alien, Daniel. Believe me." She paused a moment. "Daniel, if you can't take him home, don't worry. I can watch him until tomorrow."

"No, no. It's not that." Daniel pushed his hands deep in his pockets, hoping she couldn't see them shake.

"Then what is... Look, this is no place for a conversation." She took hold of his arm and began guiding him down the hall. "We'll go to my office. We can talk there."

Seated in Janet's office a few minutes later, Daniel accepted the glass of water she handed him. He looked around the room. It was larger than the one she had at the SGC and a photo of a younger Janet crouched beside the rocking chair of an older woman hung on the wall near diplomas and certificates.

"My granny," Janet said in a quiet voice. Daniel looked back at her, seeing her smiling, lost in her memory.

"You look like her," Daniel noted after taking a sip of water. "Is she still...?"

"No, she died right before I got my medical degree." Janet motioned for him to keep drinking. "She never graduated from high school, had to leave to take care of her brothers and sisters when her mama died." She sat on the edge of her desk and Daniel ducked his head, uncomfortable under her scrutiny. "And you're doing a very good job at getting the attention away from yourself, Daniel. Now, what's going on?"

Daniel shrugged. "Nothing. Jack's going to be fine. You said so. It's not some alien bug that can't be dealt with. It's not his heart. Just a freak occurrence because of the pneumonia."

"That doesn't mean it wasn't frightening for someone to witness," Janet said softly.

"I thought he was dying," Daniel finally whispered when the silence went on too long. "And no one would tell me what was going on."

"Yes. I can see that you might have thought that." Janet's matter of fact acceptance began to calm Daniel's jangled nerves. When he looked at her once more, she smiled at him. "Let's go see the Colonel. He's probably sleeping but I think he'll feel better knowing a friend is close by." She took a few steps away from her desk, waiting for Daniel to follow. He got up, trying to ignore the watery feeling of his knees.

"Janet." Daniel touched her shoulder at the door. He waited until she turned and looked up at him. "Thank you." There was no need to say more.

* * *

"Hey," Daniel murmured to Jack as his lover's sleepy gaze was turned in his direction.

"Hey" Jack gave him a dopey grin and Daniel knew the muscle relaxants must be doing their job. He started to reach towards the nasal cannula before Daniel caught his hand. Jack frowned. "Itches."

"I know," Daniel said. "But it's not for long."

"Colonel O'Neill," Janet began. Daniel watched as Jack rolled his head in her direction. He knew Janet would do her best to explain things, but he also knew that Jack probably wasn't going to remember a thing. "You're going to be fine."

"Heart," Jack murmured, his gaze drifting away from her and fixing on Daniel.

"Yes, I know you thought you were having a heart attack. But you weren't. You have pneumonia and some of your chest muscles spasmed."

"Not dying?" Jack squinted at Daniel and gave that same melting grin once more.

"Not dying, Jack," Daniel assured him. "Why don't you close your eyes and sleep a little bit? I can take you home as soon as the IV is done."

Jack's fingers curled around his hand, the grip surprisingly tight. "Afraid."

Daniel glanced at Janet, understanding passing between them. The muscle relaxants loosening Jack's tongue--there was no fear anything would ever be repeated outside this room.

"I know." Daniel leaned in close. "I know you were scared. But it's all over now. Close your eyes. I'll be here. I'll stay."

Jack gave a tiny nod and relaxed.

"I'll be back in about fifteen minutes," Janet whispered when Jack's breathing settled into an even rhythm. "Just to check on everything." She pulled a chair over for him and made sure he sat down. "Try to get some rest yourself."

Daniel nodded absently, his eyes fixed on Jack, who was already looking better than he had a few hours ago. He rested his head on the bed, the adrenaline that had fueled him earlier beginning to leave his system.

* * *

Talk show, court show, some show with a woman giving birth in full technicolor, infomercial, shopping channel, news, news, weather, news, old sitcom. Jack finally threw the remote control down in disgust. He could hear Daniel in the kitchen doing who knew what, probably putting away groceries or thinking up some disgustingly healthy meal for them to eat. He reached for the glass of water on the coffee table and stopped at a twinge across his chest. Sighing, he leaned back into the sofa once more. The sigh had been a mistake, starting a round of coughing. He hadn't been coughing the night he'd been rushed to the hospital. Hell, he hadn't even felt bad until he'd gone to the bathroom. It didn't seem fair that when he hadn't known he had pneumonia he'd felt fine and the minute it was diagnosed, he began coughing up disgusting gunk from his lungs.

"Jack?" Daniel was by his side in what Jack figured had to be a new world's record. It was a pity the man didn't move that fast on a planet when Jack said it was time to pack up and go home. "You okay?"

Jack made a face as he looked at the tissue he'd been holding to his mouth. Ewww. Now that was rank. He turned his attention to Daniel, who hovered. God, it was almost like being in the infirmary with Doc Fraiser and her needle bearing vampires. "I'm okay. I'm going to be fine remember? Just moved the wrong way, that's all."

He could tell Daniel didn't believe a word of it and he mentally braced himself for some sort of comment. Three, two, one, and here it came. "Maybe you should lie down for awhile, Jack. You look tired."

"I'm not tired." Jack was ready with his own ammunition. "All I've done since you brought me home three days ago is sleep or sit on this damn couch."

"You need to rest."

"What I need is for you to stop hovering over me like I'm going to break or something. Damn it, I don't need a nursemaid."

"No one said you did." Daniel was sounding entirely too calm for his own good. Jack squeezed the closest pillow in anger.

"Don't be condescending." Jack looked at him. "You know this is your future, don't you? Maybe if you can't take it, you should get out while you can." Words he'd wanted to say ever since he'd been lying in that hospital bed all alone finally came spilling out.

"My future?"

Jack heard the stutter, the confusion, and took a perverse satisfaction in seeing the frown appear on Daniel's face.

"Yes, Daniel, your future. You know--the one with the old guy."

"You're mad about my teasing you in the restaurant?" Daniel's voice was unsure, hesitant.

"I'm not mad about anything," Jack said smoothly. "I'm just letting you know what you're in for."

"What I'm in for." It wasn't a question, just a repeat of Jack's own words.

"I'm older than you," Jack explained. For someone so smart, Daniel seemed to be particularly dense when it came to understanding the situation. When he looked up to see Daniel standing there staring at him, he said it again. "Older, Daniel."

Daniel shrugged and sat down on the couch beside him. "So, you're older than me. I already knew that." Daniel rested his hand on Jack's knee. "Very few couples are exactly the same age. It's not a big deal."

Jack closed his eyes and rubbed a forefinger over the bridge of his nose. He could hear his heart pounding in his chest. He wondered if he was going to think he was having a heart attack every time he got out of breath or ran from Jaffa on some distant world. They'd assured him at the hospital that his heart was fine, his cholesterol was fine, his blood pressure was fine. So if everything was fine, why did he still feel like he'd had the shit scared out of him? He opened his mouth, ready to snipe at Daniel and instead heard himself admitting what he feared. "Old people die."

To his credit Daniel said nothing, although the weight of his hand on Jack's knee offered a strange sort of comfort. Jack could hear the ticking of the clock and the sound of the dryer buzzer going off in the basement.

"Yeah, they do," Daniel finally said. "And so do young people and middle aged people and babies."

"I'm not ready to die," Jack continued. He looked at Daniel's hand, unable to meet Daniel's eyes. Strong hands, Daniel had strong hands. There was a scratch across the back of two knuckles, a left over from their last mission.

"I'm not ready for you to die." There was warmth in the tone, warmth and understanding. "When you collapsed outside the diner, I thought you were going to die. And that no one would let me say goodbye." Daniel swallowed and Jack turned his gaze from the hand on his knee to Daniel's face, amazed and humbled by the love he saw there. "We were joking about it, Jack, and then all of a sudden..."

"Wham," Jack said. He covered Daniel's hand with his own.

"Yeah, wham," Daniel echoed.

"I could have a heart attack, you know. Or a stroke. Or get Alzheimer's." Jack began a litany of all the things he'd had nightmares of over the past few days. He opened his mouth to add a few more and was stopped by Daniel's finger placed gently over his lips.

"Or you could live to be one hundred and five and die peacefully in your sleep. Or be in a car accident driving to the grocery store and be paralyzed for life. Or step through the Gate and be hit by a staff blast," Daniel continued. "The point is, , all we ever have is now."

"But..."

"Do you think so little of me that you believe I would stop loving you if any of those things happened to you?" Daniel sounded angry now, full of righteous indignation. "Love bears all, Jack. When I told you I loved you the first time, I meant it. I mean it still. Through any possible curve ball thrown our way."

"I know you meant it," Jack said. He took a cautious deeper breath. "And it's not as if we don't have experience with the whole death thing."

"I have more." Daniel gave an irreverent grin.

Jack rested the palm of his hand against Daniel's cheek, hurt warring with the smile he wanted to give. "Yeah, I've been meaning to talk to you about that." He thought of the year without Daniel, the year his body lived but his soul was dead. "I want you to stop doing it."

"I'll do my best, Jack," Daniel whispered, his breath moist along the edge of Jack's hand.

Jack turned on the couch, stretching out along its length, placing a pillow on Daniel's lap and settling his head there.

"Get comfortable, why don't you?" Daniel grumbled, but Jack saw the smile twinkling in his lover's eyes.

Jack smiled back. "Don't mind if I do." He closed his eyes, savoring the feel of Daniel running fingers through his hair, the soft scent of coffee and soap, the presence of someone he was amazed loved him. When he was younger, he'd often wanted to know the future. Wanted to know what was around the next corner, over the next horizon. But now, he knew there was a good reason the future was hidden. Every moment, every second of the present, counted. Daniel and he were together this moment, together, content, loved and loving. The future didn't matter. They had today.

  



End file.
